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Post by smokey1984 on Aug 5, 2010 7:25:59 GMT -5
taffy and jock and paddy are chatting. taffy says women are so stupid my wife has just brought a new car and she can't drive" jock say's "thats nothing. my wifes on a diet and she not even fat" paddy says "thats f**k all. my wifes taken 30 condoms to spain and she hasn't got a cock
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Post by haulinman12 on Aug 12, 2010 13:58:26 GMT -5
LOL! i got one now i got this from a sig on another forum
[22:04] ⋆¨d¨g¨j ⋆ Jon: f**k legos, i fuckin play with megablox, those ones that the retards play with [22:04] ⋆¨d¨g¨j ⋆ Jon: badass [22:05] ⋆¨d¨g¨j ⋆ Erik: do you wear a helmet while playing with them? [22:05] ⋆¨d¨g¨j ⋆ Jon: ya [22:05] ⋆¨d¨g¨j ⋆ Erik: good boy
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Post by smokey1984 on Aug 12, 2010 16:03:44 GMT -5
here are a few for you
patient" doctor , i'm at deaths door" Doctor says" dont worry i'll pull you through
if smoking harms you how come it cures kippers and gammon
they're doing a silent film verison of oliver and i got the lead role but i cant ask for more
Police stop Paddy the other day and asked him where he was between 5 and 11. Paddy says Primary school!
I hate women who have to much make up on. My wife has the right amount of foundation. She is buried under the house.
For my sons birthday we bought him an iPod. For my daughters birthday we bought her an iPhone and for my birthday I recieved an iPad. Thinking along the same lines I bought my wife for her birthday an iRon - and thats where it all went horribly wrong
I grew up in a tough area. When i was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream then put a cherry on my head...
Yes... life was tough in the gateau
Sherlock Holmes, I heard your wifes that \'THICK\'she thought Serlock Holmes was a Feckin Housing Association
In an underhand effort to make me lose some weight, my Mrs has taken to hiding my favourite processed cheese up her vagina...Krafty C***!
I heard some of my sons friends call my wife a MILF I found out this means, Mothers Id Like to F**k, So when I heard my teenage daughters friends say your dads FILF, I got a stiffy. turns out they found my porn collection.....
What\'s the difference between Robert Green and Justin Bieber? Robert Green knows how to drop his balls
BREAKING NEWS!! a irish farmer has successfuly grown a field full of dildos. now he has problems with squatters!!!!!!!!
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Post by smokey1984 on Aug 13, 2010 17:55:27 GMT -5
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Post by smokey1984 on Sept 12, 2010 16:04:57 GMT -5
There was were three people on a plane . One took a bite of an apple and thought it was to sweet and threw it out the window Then another took a bite of an lime and thought it was to sour and threw it out the window And the last person look a bite out of a gernade and thought it was to hard and threw it out the window. After the plane landed they decided to go for a walk and they a boy crying and they asked him why he was crying He said "A apple fell out the sky and killed my puppy." Then they saw a litte girl crying and they asked her why she was crying She said "A lime fell out the sky and killed my kitty." Then they saw a laughing blonde and they asked her why she was laughing She said "I just farted and the house behind me blew up."
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Post by Darrell on Sept 4, 2011 4:17:56 GMT -5
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Post by scott on Oct 3, 2011 10:19:06 GMT -5
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Post by smokey1984 on Oct 3, 2011 17:05:44 GMT -5
some good ones there scott
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Post by scott on Oct 7, 2011 10:21:04 GMT -5
There was were three people on a plane . One took a bite of an apple and thought it was to sweet and threw it out the window Then another took a bite of an lime and thought it was to sour and threw it out the window And the last person look a bite out of a gernade and thought it was to hard and threw it out the window. After the plane landed they decided to go for a walk and they a boy crying and they asked him why he was crying He said "A apple fell out the sky and killed my puppy." Then they saw a litte girl crying and they asked her why she was crying She said "A lime fell out the sky and killed my kitty." Then they saw a laughing blonde and they asked her why she was laughing She said "I just farted and the house behind me blew up." Great one Smokey ;D ;D
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Post by gerbiepiep on Oct 8, 2011 13:56:51 GMT -5
Lol, i believe the guy got fired because of dancing in his truck haha. ;D
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Post by ♠VENOM♠ on Oct 21, 2011 21:29:02 GMT -5
that guy really needs to get a brake out of the truck lol i was in a truck 5 weeks stight and was ready to go crazy i think he went and fliped his lid lol
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Post by smokey1984 on Nov 19, 2011 22:05:00 GMT -5
As A Lorry Driver Im Always Careful Where I Drop My Load. Well, I Wouldnt Want To Leave Any DNA In My Cab
did you know in australia tie me kangaroo down sport is a real love song
This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, \"I\'m not happy.\"
I replied, \"Well, which one are you then?\"
Teacher tells class "make a sentence using the word dough". Little Jane raises her hand: "In Italy they make pizza using special dough".
"Very good" says teacher. Little Mary raises her hand: "My brother makes dinosaurs out of . . . play dough".
"Excellent" says teacher. Little Jake raises his hand: "Our mum says dad is a crap in bed so she has to use a dill dough"
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Post by smokey1984 on Nov 24, 2011 11:59:30 GMT -5
check this out guys funny a hell for u gta and cod fans
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Post by cherrybrandy on Jan 31, 2012 10:36:25 GMT -5
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Post by smokey1984 on Sept 28, 2012 11:39:21 GMT -5
When i get a headache i take 2-3 asprins and keep away from the kids, just like the bottle say's
Went to buy a train ticket the other day. Asked for a return and the bloke in the ticket office asked 'where to?'. 'Back here of course' I replied!!
My Girlfreind rang me lastnight shouting"Were the hell are you"? I replied, "you know that jewellery shop we went to look at your engagement ring", she said yeah in a soft way. I said "in the pub opposite!".
Went up to a young couple in the bar last night and asked the bloke - vd? He got up and punched me one. Saw another couple, asked the same and got punched again. Then saw an old geezer covered in scabs and asked VD? Yeah he said. Well, youre next on the dam dartboard!
A bloke koncked on my door today and asked "if i would donate to the local swimming pool" so i gave him a bottle of water
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